सिफर की क़ीमत

एक वक़्त था जब मुझे लगता था की ज़िन्दगी के इस स्कूल में, इस इम्तिहान मे मैं कभी position नहीं ले सकती....इसमें मेरे Result Card पर कभी Distinction नहीं हो सकती ....शायद Grace Marks से Pass हो जाऊं पर ज़्यादा इमकान है की Fail हो जाउंगी ....कभी कभार अपना आप मुझे सिफर लगता था , Zero ..जिसकी कोई Value नही है...Useless...एक सिफर जैसी ज़िन्दगी गुज़ार रही थी ....सिर्फ एक सिफर....फिर भी लोग कहते हैं उम्मीद रखो, चीज़े बदलेंगी......सुबह से लेकर रात तक उम्मीद को ढूँढ़ती रहती थी पर उम्मीद तो कहीं नज़र नही आती थी … मैं मानती हूँ मेरा भगवान मेरे अंदर रहता है और हर वक़्त मुझसे बातें करता हैँ ..… उन्होंने मुझे समझाया की उम्मीद को ढूंढा नहीं जाता ......उम्मीद को रखा जाता है .......अपने अंदर, अपने दिल में , अपने ज़हन में .....ये नन्हे बीज की तरह होती है.....चंद दिनों में बीज ज़मीन की मिटटी से बाहर तो आ जाता है,मगर उससे दरख़्त बनने में बहुत देर लगती है, लेकिन वो दरख़्त बनता ज़रूर है.… अगर उसको पानी दिया जाता रहे, अगर मिटटी को नर्म रखा जाए …… सिफर की ज़रूरत हर अदद को होती है .. … कुछ बनने के लिए सिफर जिस अदद के साथ लगे तो उसकी क़द्रो क़ीमत कई गुना बढ़ा देता है .. … तो अगर में अपने आप को सिफर समझती हूँ तब भी में  क़ीमती हूँ.…तब भी में बेकार नहीं .. .. तब भी में हर गिनती से पहले आउंगी . .. हर गिनती का आग़ाज़ मुझी से होगा … और हर नौ अदद के बाद एक दफा मेरी ज़रूरत पड़ेगी .... अगले मोड़ पर जाने के लिए  तबदीली जब भी आएगी मुझी से आयेगी.....सिफर से आएगी।

Who I am means nothing to this world.....

“Who I am Means Nothing to this World”

That is what defines my life.
Who I am means nothing to this world.

Besides you who knows the state of my heart, My Lord?
Under your eyes, I suffered through hell.
How do I tell you the cruelties done to me?
Who will listen to my story?
There is no one with whom I can share my grief or my secrets.
What was false, became the truth,
But I didn't say a word,
This solitude … this grief …

Sometimes, I wander in the lonely mornings.
Sometimes, I look out into the barren night.
Sometimes I awaken with teary eyes.
Sometimes I think on the past moments.
But there is a moment of hope,
The belief that I have in My Lord.
I've never complained of my sufferings,
I’ve never cried out loud in pain.
Who I am means nothing to this world.
What can I tell you?
What will I get out of it?
I should just earn the fruits of my patience [by staying quiet].
I should be able to cloak some of my memories.
I should get something for the pain I have suffered through.
I should make a place for pain in my heart,
I will get the one who was mine.
I hope my world always remains filled with happiness,
And what I believe becomes reality.
Who I am means nothing to this world.

What is more important to be happy: Reasons or Options?

I have heard somewhere that " the same opportunity never knocks twice.The next may be better or worse,but it's never be the same again."My mind is always occupied with so many thoughts, so many questions...when i look at today's world ...look into the lives of people....i always notice that troubles and pessimism are increasing exponentially  while peace of mind and optimism are decreasing even at greater pace.....and when i think of the root cause of negativity filled in our world...the answer is lying within me...and yes i understand how negativity arrives in the mind's of the people and took the huge place in their heart's and we are the only one who grants it to be within us even after knowing its ill effects. Negativity is like termite which is swallowing us day by day.....but question arises in my mind that why we are not aware of our negative attitude....again the answer is lying within me..Human nature generally resists change. Change is uncomfortable. Regardless of its positive or negative effect, change can be stressful. Sometimes we get so comfortable with our negativity that even when the change is for the positive, we don't want to accept it. We stay with the negative.....Now a days people lacking character, commitment,conviction, courtesy and courage...they dumbed all five C's.Well, without diverting my mind from my actual concern which is "What is more important to be happy: Reasons or Options?"....again the answer lies within me...first of all i want to throw the light on options...what are they?....the choices that we have or the choices that we make...whatever it is because choices always have consequences.We are free to make our choice but after we have chosen, the choice controls us. We have equal opportunity to be unequal. The choice is ours. Life can be compared to a pottery maker who shapes clay in any form he wants. Similarly, we can mold our lives into any shape we want....but now the question arises do the things end here? What happen after making the best choice that we thought was best...all turned out well...yes????????
I guess No....because its true "Jannat Zameen Par Nahi Banti"....If life is full of choices then likewise it is full of compromises too.Life is not just party and pleasure; it is also pain and despair. Unthinkable things happen. Sometimes everything turns upside down. Bad things happen to good people.So if the ball bounced that way, sorry. But what do we do from here; cry or take the ball and run? That is a choice we have to make.

Samandar...

Samandar ki lehron ka junoon aur pyaar ka junoon kitna ittefaq rakhte hain,
Jab aate hain to insaan ke har na mukammal khwab ko yakeen mai badal dete hain,
Aur jab jaate hain to uske paon se uski zameen bhi kheench lete hain....

Shehr-e-Zaat

“Allah Ki Mohabbat Ke Siwa, Har Mohabbat Ko Zawal Hai. 
Rab Ki Mohabbat Ke Ilawa Duniya Ki Koi Mohabbat Sachi Nahi, 
Aur Rab Asliyat Dikha Deta Hai. Har Rishtey, Har Mohabbat Ki. 
Phir Wo Sab Kuch Dikha Ker Aadmi Se Kehta Hai, 
"Ab Bata Tera Mere Siwa Kaun Hai?"

ISHQ na mukammal kyu......

"Insan jis se sab se zyada mohabbat karta hai, KHUDA usse ussi ke haathon torta hai. Insaan ko us tootay hue bartan ki tarha hona chahiye, jis se logon ki mohabbat aaye aur bahir nikal jaye…"

Khwahishein aur Chahtein

Khwahishon aur Chahton mai bada farq hai...khwahishen insaan ko ghamandi karti hain aur chah insaan ko mitti kar deti hain...Khwahishein kya hain ye is par munhasir hai!