My Essence...

Sometimes I feel I became an Iceberg...I don't have any feelings inside me...My heart nomore attracts towards this world...Yes,Yes...I am talking about this materialistic world,
I forgot how to laugh...how to cry,
As I can see that sea inside me gone dry,
He keeps on asking me to apologize,
But it doesn't affects me as my heart says," Ask him how the time can run anticlockwise",
Even I don't want him to penalise,
Afterall this nature wants me to compromise,
How can I be so hateful to my lord as my destiny yet not finalized,
But I believe there will be sunrise,
When My lord surely gave me lot of surprise,
There will be a world that today I can visualize,
And I believe my God,one day,will realise,
On that day,he hold my hands and show me his paradise,
Then I am sure all the bitter feelings inside me will neutralize,
My pain and sorrow will minimize,
And I will just rise and rise and only rise.

ये रात बीत जायेगी............

टूटे हुए सपनों की चुभन मेरे दिल को तड़पायेगी;
ना जाने कैसे ये रात बीत पायेगी.....

चाँद की चमक मुझे मेरे मन में बसे अँधेरे का एहसास करायेगी;
 कौन जाने कैसे ये रात बीत पायेगी......

उस नन्हीं सी कली को देखकर ऐसा लगा जैसे सवेरे तक खिल जाएगी;
शायद इसी इंतज़ार में ये रात बीत जायेगी......

सोचा ना था एक ठंडी हवा की पुरवाई इन पलकों को भारी कर जायेगी;
अब शायद ये रात गुज़र ही जायेगी.........

काली रात में जब सूरज की पहली किरण आएगी,मेरी उम्मीदों का दिया फिर से जलाएगी;
में जानती हूँ ये रात बीत जायेगी............

अँधेरे से गुज़रते हुए एक नई सुबह आएगी;
हाँ,मुझे यकीन है ये रात बीत जाएगी.............

दिल नहीं बदलता.......

वक़्त बदलता है,
मौसम बदलता है,
जज़्बात बदलतें  है,
इंसान बदलते हैं,
कुदरत बदलती है,
किस्मत बदलती है,
दिन बदलता है,
रात बदलती है,
नज़रिया बदलता है,
हालात बदलते हैं,
नज़ारे बदलते हैं,
हवाएँ बदलती हैं,
आसमां बदलता है,
रुत बदलती है,
राहें बदलती है,
ये जहान बदलता है,
पर फिर भी ना जाने क्यों मेरा दिल नहीं बदलता ?

Bad experiences are not always bad

Bad experiences are not always bad though they look bad at that particular point of time. But they always gives us some good lessons of life which makes us more stronger than before. If their are no sufferings in humans life, then we start expecting sky from human beings and forget God who is the only one capable to fulfill human desires.

The day when I realised value of everything and cost of nothing..

When I was a day dreamer,I just know the cost of everything and value of nothing,
Even I know the cost of my dreams which are all inspired from this materialistic world,
Cost of my favorite destination where I always dream of going,cost of all the expensive gadgets that I want to collect and lots more,
For all the time I found myself lost in worldly pursuits,
But the time came when I realised the harsh realities of life and that was the time when I actually found my true self,
When I saw my neighbor lost their only son,I realised the importance of attachment and emotions that parents have with their child and how their day converted into doomsday,
When I was going in different city for further studies, I realised the value of my home,
When I lost the man I loved a lot, I realised the value of trust and loyalty,
When I saw poor people around me suffering from hunger,I realised the value of each grain of food,
When I saw how people around us killing each other brutally; physically and mentally; I realised that humanity no more exists,
When I felt that everything happening with us is already written in our fate;I came to know how helpless a man could be,
Love,trust,separation,misfortune,grief,helplessness,attachment,sorrow,loss.....all these emotions are something I never realised,
But after learning hard realities of life I think I can only travel from self to subsistence and not beyond that,
And now I am sure I can only remember value of everything but cost of nothing.

Deewar

Ye mard aurat ke liye kya hota hai?
Wo ek darwaaza hota hai, Darwaaze ka kaam ya to rasta dena hota hai ya rasta rok lena hota hai....
Iss darwaaze ne mera rasta rok liya hai....mera hi nahi har aurat ka rasta rok liya hai....aage jaane hi nahi deta... kabhi bhi aage jaane nahi diya....aur aurat darwaaze ko kholne ki kabhi koshish hi nahi karti....uski chaukhat par baith jaati hai....usko choomti hai....usko sajda karti hai....to phir darwaaza rasta kyu na roke??

Aurat kya hoti hai....
Aurat ek bail ki tarah hoti hai aur mard deewar ki tarah ...bail saari umar apne liye ek deewar dhoonti hai...jiski wajah se wo aage ja sake.....nazaro mai aa sake...bail utni hi upar jaati hai jitni deewar jaati hai....bail ko lagta hai ki agar deewar na hoti to wo kuch bhi na hoti, logo ke pairon ke neeche aake khatam ho gayi hoti....wo saari zindagi uski ehsaanmand rehti hai....usko saaya deti hai...apne phool patto se mehekati hai.....aur jab sookhne lag jaati hai....tab bhi uss deewar ke saath chipki rehti hai....ek chipkali ki tarah....
Deewar ko kitna faayda hota hai...bail usko dhakti hai....saaya deti hai...apne phool patto se sajati hai...mehekati hai...umar bhar uski ehsaanmand rehti hai....aur deewar...deewar sirf usko sahara deti hai...
sirf sahara!!!

दोराहा

में हमेशा खुद को उस दोराहे पर खड़ा हुआ पाती हूँ जहाँ ना में अपनी खुशकिस्मती पर खुश हो पाती हूँ और ना ही अपनी बदकिस्मती पर रो पाती हूँ। अगर तुम मुझे संगेमरमर का समझते हो तो समझते रहो..... में तुम्हारे सामने रेत की दीवार नहीं बनना चाहती.......मुझे टूट जाने से खौफ आता है।

ढूंढ़ती हूँ में

ढूंढा तो बहुत पर कहीं नहीं मिले मुझे वो,
पर अब लगता है की हर जगह हर तरफ हैं वो,
इंसान की बेबसी में दिखते हैँ मुझे वो,
आँखों से निकलते आँसुओं मे भी है वो ,
क़यामत के दिन के मालिक भी वो और इंसान का नया जन्म भी वो,
दबी हुई उस हंसी में दिखती है मुझे उनकी झलक,
उन्हें याद करके अब रात भर नहीं झपकती मेरी पलक  ,
कभी ठंडी हवाओं मे तो कभी बारिश की बूंदो मे,
कभी सीप मे छुपे उस मोती में तो कभी चाँद और सूरज में,
अपने होंसलों की उड़ान में देखा है मैंने उन्हें,
और अपने टूटे हुए परों मे भी पाया है,
वहीं हैं धूप वहीं हैं छाओं,
वहीं है मेरी आस और अब वहीँ हैं मेरे पास,
मेरा आने वाला कल,मेरा बीता हुआ पल और मेरा आज भी वही,
मेरी हसरतें, मेरा जुनून और मेरी दुआएँ भी वही,
करती हूँ रात दिन जिसका इंतज़ार भी वही,
कहाँ-कहाँ नहीं ढूंढा मैंने उन्हें उम्र भर,
भटकती रही जिसकी तलाश में मैं दरबदर,
मिली ना जिसकी मुझे कभी कोई खबर,
उनकी एक झलक देखने के लिए तरसती रही मेरी नज़र,
अब जाना तो समझ आया की मेरे हर लफ्ज़, हर ख़्याल और हर कोशिश में मेरे साथ ही तो थे वो ज़िन्दगी भर।

निशान-ए-हैदर

कैसी है जंग ये,
क्यों नहीं होती खत्म ये,
रोज़ लड़ती हूँ , थकती हूँ , गिरती हूँ और फिर उठ खड़ी होती हूँ ,
फिर भी नहीं थमता सफर ये,
ना जाने कैसा ये समंदर है जहाँ मिलता नहीं किनारा मुझे,
ज़िन्दगी लगती है महाज़-ए-जंग जैसी,ना जाने कब मिलेगा निशान-ए-हैदर मुझे,
पर फिर भी लड़ती रहूंगी मैं तब तक,जब तक नहीं दिखेगा शगाफ़ मुझे,
मिल जाये जो अपने रब की मोहब्बत तो फिर मिले ना मिले निशान-ए-हैदर मुझे,
डालें वो मुझ पर अपनी एक नज़र,इससे पहले की ये ज़माना कर दे दरबदर मुझे,
वही हैं अब मेरी आखिरी आरज़ू जिसकी अब हुई है कदर मुझे।

Yesterday....

Its just the beginning of the new day;
With lot of desires and emotions still to display;
A bit scared,my this day just not flyaway,
I want to see it shines bright despite of dissolving in gray;
I believe I will reach my destiny as I don't want to return from halfway;
The road is looking muddy, I wish I get a highway;
Want to go close to him but unfortunately I have to walk alone anyway;
I know he will never come back but still waiting for him everyday;
Why I thought he take care of my feelings when I was sure he will betray;
After killing my soul,he easily walked away;
I really want to live in today but I don't know why I can't come out from yesterday?

Travelled from self to subsistence

Surrounded with my loved ones but still I find myself incomplete,
This solitude is difficult to bear but don't know when it will deplete,
The world is getting ambitious but I am sure I can't compete,
I know I have true feelings for him but he says those are now obsolete,
There are lot of loose ends in this entire universe but not a single end with whom I can meet,
Yes, I am praised by everyone but still no one is here with whom I can feel complete.

Want to sleep long.....

I really want to sleep long,
As I don't have a desire to livelong,
I wish somebody would sing my favorite song,
But unfortunately I don't found anyone with whom I can belong,
I really need someone to hold me as I am not that strong,
I hope somebody just come to me and walk along,
My whole world turned from right to wrong,
My soul asking me to leave as she can't tolerate this world lifelong,
So now I want to close my eyes and sleep long...........................

The life.....

when life loses its pace,
when soul left its place,
when i started losing all my craze,
when tears rolls over my face,
when my world lost all its grace,
when i saw pieces of my heart at everyplace,
when i find no one to give me solace,
when still i have to participate in this race,
when i cant find anywhere my own trace,
when my identity becomes a disgrace,
That type of life i have faced,
I hope one day somebody will come and inspire me to replace this disgrace with embrace.

सिफर की क़ीमत

एक वक़्त था जब मुझे लगता था की ज़िन्दगी के इस स्कूल में, इस इम्तिहान मे मैं कभी position नहीं ले सकती....इसमें मेरे Result Card पर कभी Distinction नहीं हो सकती ....शायद Grace Marks से Pass हो जाऊं पर ज़्यादा इमकान है की Fail हो जाउंगी ....कभी कभार अपना आप मुझे सिफर लगता था , Zero ..जिसकी कोई Value नही है...Useless...एक सिफर जैसी ज़िन्दगी गुज़ार रही थी ....सिर्फ एक सिफर....फिर भी लोग कहते हैं उम्मीद रखो, चीज़े बदलेंगी......सुबह से लेकर रात तक उम्मीद को ढूँढ़ती रहती थी पर उम्मीद तो कहीं नज़र नही आती थी … मैं मानती हूँ मेरा भगवान मेरे अंदर रहता है और हर वक़्त मुझसे बातें करता हैँ ..… उन्होंने मुझे समझाया की उम्मीद को ढूंढा नहीं जाता ......उम्मीद को रखा जाता है .......अपने अंदर, अपने दिल में , अपने ज़हन में .....ये नन्हे बीज की तरह होती है.....चंद दिनों में बीज ज़मीन की मिटटी से बाहर तो आ जाता है,मगर उससे दरख़्त बनने में बहुत देर लगती है, लेकिन वो दरख़्त बनता ज़रूर है.… अगर उसको पानी दिया जाता रहे, अगर मिटटी को नर्म रखा जाए …… सिफर की ज़रूरत हर अदद को होती है .. … कुछ बनने के लिए सिफर जिस अदद के साथ लगे तो उसकी क़द्रो क़ीमत कई गुना बढ़ा देता है .. … तो अगर में अपने आप को सिफर समझती हूँ तब भी में  क़ीमती हूँ.…तब भी में बेकार नहीं .. .. तब भी में हर गिनती से पहले आउंगी . .. हर गिनती का आग़ाज़ मुझी से होगा … और हर नौ अदद के बाद एक दफा मेरी ज़रूरत पड़ेगी .... अगले मोड़ पर जाने के लिए  तबदीली जब भी आएगी मुझी से आयेगी.....सिफर से आएगी।

Who I am means nothing to this world.....

“Who I am Means Nothing to this World”

That is what defines my life.
Who I am means nothing to this world.

Besides you who knows the state of my heart, My Lord?
Under your eyes, I suffered through hell.
How do I tell you the cruelties done to me?
Who will listen to my story?
There is no one with whom I can share my grief or my secrets.
What was false, became the truth,
But I didn't say a word,
This solitude … this grief …

Sometimes, I wander in the lonely mornings.
Sometimes, I look out into the barren night.
Sometimes I awaken with teary eyes.
Sometimes I think on the past moments.
But there is a moment of hope,
The belief that I have in My Lord.
I've never complained of my sufferings,
I’ve never cried out loud in pain.
Who I am means nothing to this world.
What can I tell you?
What will I get out of it?
I should just earn the fruits of my patience [by staying quiet].
I should be able to cloak some of my memories.
I should get something for the pain I have suffered through.
I should make a place for pain in my heart,
I will get the one who was mine.
I hope my world always remains filled with happiness,
And what I believe becomes reality.
Who I am means nothing to this world.

What is more important to be happy: Reasons or Options?

I have heard somewhere that " the same opportunity never knocks twice.The next may be better or worse,but it's never be the same again."My mind is always occupied with so many thoughts, so many questions...when i look at today's world ...look into the lives of people....i always notice that troubles and pessimism are increasing exponentially  while peace of mind and optimism are decreasing even at greater pace.....and when i think of the root cause of negativity filled in our world...the answer is lying within me...and yes i understand how negativity arrives in the mind's of the people and took the huge place in their heart's and we are the only one who grants it to be within us even after knowing its ill effects. Negativity is like termite which is swallowing us day by day.....but question arises in my mind that why we are not aware of our negative attitude....again the answer is lying within me..Human nature generally resists change. Change is uncomfortable. Regardless of its positive or negative effect, change can be stressful. Sometimes we get so comfortable with our negativity that even when the change is for the positive, we don't want to accept it. We stay with the negative.....Now a days people lacking character, commitment,conviction, courtesy and courage...they dumbed all five C's.Well, without diverting my mind from my actual concern which is "What is more important to be happy: Reasons or Options?"....again the answer lies within me...first of all i want to throw the light on options...what are they?....the choices that we have or the choices that we make...whatever it is because choices always have consequences.We are free to make our choice but after we have chosen, the choice controls us. We have equal opportunity to be unequal. The choice is ours. Life can be compared to a pottery maker who shapes clay in any form he wants. Similarly, we can mold our lives into any shape we want....but now the question arises do the things end here? What happen after making the best choice that we thought was best...all turned out well...yes????????
I guess No....because its true "Jannat Zameen Par Nahi Banti"....If life is full of choices then likewise it is full of compromises too.Life is not just party and pleasure; it is also pain and despair. Unthinkable things happen. Sometimes everything turns upside down. Bad things happen to good people.So if the ball bounced that way, sorry. But what do we do from here; cry or take the ball and run? That is a choice we have to make.

Samandar...

Samandar ki lehron ka junoon aur pyaar ka junoon kitna ittefaq rakhte hain,
Jab aate hain to insaan ke har na mukammal khwab ko yakeen mai badal dete hain,
Aur jab jaate hain to uske paon se uski zameen bhi kheench lete hain....

Shehr-e-Zaat

“Allah Ki Mohabbat Ke Siwa, Har Mohabbat Ko Zawal Hai. 
Rab Ki Mohabbat Ke Ilawa Duniya Ki Koi Mohabbat Sachi Nahi, 
Aur Rab Asliyat Dikha Deta Hai. Har Rishtey, Har Mohabbat Ki. 
Phir Wo Sab Kuch Dikha Ker Aadmi Se Kehta Hai, 
"Ab Bata Tera Mere Siwa Kaun Hai?"

ISHQ na mukammal kyu......

"Insan jis se sab se zyada mohabbat karta hai, KHUDA usse ussi ke haathon torta hai. Insaan ko us tootay hue bartan ki tarha hona chahiye, jis se logon ki mohabbat aaye aur bahir nikal jaye…"

Khwahishein aur Chahtein

Khwahishon aur Chahton mai bada farq hai...khwahishen insaan ko ghamandi karti hain aur chah insaan ko mitti kar deti hain...Khwahishein kya hain ye is par munhasir hai!